Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
