So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize