I am in a vortex of obligation.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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