the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
