Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
is it fun? or sober?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
