I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
