There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
