Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
