My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
