I don't think brook has ever known best
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I understand Curling. That high.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
