I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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