I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
If I die, sorry about rent.
I want a musical about memes.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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