shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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