I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
