Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
