yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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