Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
