I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
