i permit you to call me
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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