Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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