is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize