maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
