Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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