So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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