What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
