mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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