she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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