At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
