Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
