Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
