I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
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