I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
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