You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
