I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
