I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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