i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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