why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You need Xanax blowdarts
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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