there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
