I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
