lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
