I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
did i walk over a car last night?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
