i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize