Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
