I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
