Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
