I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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