Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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