You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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