Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize