we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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