Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
We were destined to go to rehab together
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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