you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
