Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
