the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
