Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
