I didn't shave. On purpose
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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