You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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