This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
