And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
