i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
