i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Randomize