every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
